June 23, 2011

Snuggling with daddy
                                           They have penny rides at the local grocery store and this is his favorite.
our new favorite place. The zoo is HUGE

                                            He loves to jump to his daddy. We spend all day doing this.
Sawyer and his new friend Lily

Us at the Zoo
                                       Sawyer loves the waterpark at the zoo. He went nuts.
Hanging out at home

Messy boy

Hanging out with daddy

Eating lunch after playing really hard at the zoos water park

Having icecream on a hot day

He was so tired he found a pillow and fell asleep on the floor

Our cute cowboy woody
                             He had so much fun dancing. An I think he is pretty dang good.
This is the night we got here. After a long flight we got in the car and he fell right to sleep

This is us in our shelter during the tornado. He was happy we had just givin him icecream right before we had to go in, but let me tell you after almost two hours in there with 3 couples and 4 kids he had, had it. Thank heavens everyone was ok. Prayers are answered.

It has been a crazy three weeks. we are all moved in and all our boxes are unpacked and we even have pictures hung on the walls. Sawyer is adjusting ok. He still walks around the house asking for my dad and jon. The other day he was crying and say "gama" and i felt so sad. So of course we had to call my mom right away and then he was ok after that. Thank heavens for facetime and skype. We talked to my parents and family everyday. Sawyer tonight was so funny when my dad and mom face timed us. He was dancing and he kept saying "hi hi hi hi." he is one funny boy. I am counting down the day until they come in October. He will love having them here. We have done a lot of fun things and spent a ton of money restocking on food and household items that we didn't have. ANNOYING, but necessary. We go to the pool almost everyday and Sawyer just loves it, but we always have to bring at least 3 balls and a few cars because he will walk around the whole pool deck looking for these items. We always bring lots of snacks and drinks because we are bound to be there for 3 to 5 hours... yes crazy I know. If you don't see us at the pool you will either find us at the park or the zoo. We got a season pass to the zoo. It's huge and has such a fun kids water park. Sawyer loves it so much. He runs around like a crazy person and i'm always afraid he is going to get pummeled. We usually go to the park at night. All the other dental students families who live in our complex are always there and we bbq, talk, play sand volleyball, and just hang out while the kids swing, slide and run around. It's a lot of fun. You can always find a friend at the park which is nice. We are going to start a baby sitting trade off with a few girls in August when they get back from going home for a 3 week visit. It will be nice. every six weeks you have all the kids come to your house for the night, but the other five weeks you get to take your child to someone elses house. I know it sounds crazy, but the kids love it and it's only one night. I am excited for Sawyer to play with his new little friends and it also helps him get used to other parents in case i had an emergency and had to leave him with someone he wouldn't be totally freaked out. Our ward is really great too. Everyone is so friendly and so welcoming. We have all ages, but a lot of young families so that is new and nice. We live in a very safe area... other then the scary tornado that was here last night. Besides my earlier freak out post. We are doing great and getting settled into our new life and new home. Missing all back home and saying hello to all our new friends:)

Missing "my normal"

I think putting on a brave face can be exhausting. Don't get me wrong I really do like it here. We have met some really amazing people and it's nice and we are in a safe area and sawyer has a lot of little friends. I just really miss all the familiar things. My mom and dad, siblings, my adorable dogs, work, my house, our swing set, always having people in and out of my parents house, my friends, taking sawyer up to my grandmas almost everyday so he could get a treat from her and play on her balcony, The deer coming in and out of the yard. I miss so many things. I am feeling kind of alone and also excited about this new opportunity we have been given. I feel all sorts on loss. I left my family who i adore and am so grateful for. My parents are so amazing. They have helped out our little family so much. They are so giving and so Christ like. We would be so lost without them. I feel so sad about my dogs. I still cry and feel so sad when I think about them. I feel so much like I let them down. I know it's so silly to some, but I love them and they were such a big part of our life. They were so good with Sawyer and they honestly are the sweetest dogs. I am so thankful for my sweet cousin who is so selfless and took them. I know she will be good to them and that they will get lost of attention from her boys, but i am still so sad and feel like such a failure. I feel like it was such a rough time moving, giving up the dogs, saying goodbye to family, taking sawyer somewhere new away from his first home where he was adored by all and got all kinds of attention from my parents and siblings, I feel many losses some of which I won't discuss but that have changed my heart. I feel pain. I type of pain that shakes your very being and that sometimes I just want to lay in bed and never get out, but I am grateful that I have Sawyer and that I get to get out of bed everyday for him and he makes me better and he makes me not so sad. I really am ok, but I am a bit sad and down lately. Change is not so easy for me. I made plans and some (not all) of those plans are no longer apart of my future. It's really quite sad to me. ugh... i'm sure this isn't making any sense. I miss my job and all the girls I worked with. They are like family. I miss working with Ben It was so fun when he started and so sad when he left and then paul came and that was one of the greatest days of my life. We laughed and I let him try all sorts of things it was just so fun, but mostly I miss working with my dad. I worked there for a long time and It was just a part of me. Going to lunch, laughing, getting in trouble, learning all sorts of new skills, dealing with crazy clients, being with my favorite clients, i just miss working with you dad. My job would have been nothing without you. I am thankful for our time together and I wouldn't have given it up for anything. I am grateful for the friendship that I have with my parents. We share our lives together. No secrets and just love. I feel so blessed and it really is so silly to be so sad. I am so lucky and have so much to be thankful for. I just had to let some of it out. This will be great i know it will be and i'm so proud of Braydon for his hard work and for pushing himself and for being such a great father and husband. Sawyer and him are inseparable. I love that they love each other so much. Anyway, sorry for the ranting i really am going to be ok! 

Sand dunes

Sawyer loved the motorhome and loved pretending to drive. Here he is touching the buttons... that is what he always has to do.

He slept great thank heavens

Totally fell asleep

The whole group
My dad planned such a fun over night stay at the sand dunes. He is in a time share and we had a motor home and two trailers. One for sleeping the other for hauling all the dirt bikes, fourwheelers, and the ride along. It was so fun. We just hung out with our family,  started a fire,  drank hot cocoa, laughed A LOT and just had a blast. It was so much fun and I think I can speak for everyone in saying that. It honestly doesn't matter what we do, but when we are together it's so special and it was fun to have one last little get away before we moved. Thank you so much mom and dad for such a fun trip. You are the best:)

June 13, 2011

Birthdays always seem to be good days. They still are sad just not as sad. Do your remember your last birthday at home? I still remember what you were wearing and that you had a little to much aqua di Gio on ( like always) and you were funny as usual. Always something I wish I was. All the boys seem to have gotten the looks and the funnies. Do you remember how loud your car was? Ridiculous really! All the thumping and bumping. You thought you were so bad.... maybe you were. To the ladies you were pretty bad... honestly what does that even mean? It still breaks my heart that you aren't around for sawyer to grow up. Now you've got me all sorts of mad today thinking about all the things you're missing and all the things we are all missing together. Dad still prayers for you and Sarah. It always makes me cry inside. We are going to celebrate tonight with a cake and a balloon.  Can you believe in three short years I will be as old as you? SCARY. I think it's really crappy you up and left us all here and i'm still pretty pissed(sorry mom) about it, but we all love you and miss you everyday and hope you get to do something cool on your birthday in heaven. I have to hope you do. And all those "yellow" personalities are banking on it i'm sure. Love you brother

June 12, 2011

First prayer

Our sweet boy said his first prayer at dinner last night. It was so adorable. He said " lee dada ( heavenly father) eees (please) and dank you (thank you) then he said everyone's name in mine and braydons family. Food and wa wa (water) and a big ahhhh (amen.) I do have to mention he did have his head down because he mimics us all the time and was holing tightly to his silly cup filled with orange juice. We love this boy of ours so much. He is so sweet and is kind of having a hard time adjusting to his new "home" We love and miss you all back at home:)