It's either pregnancy or just me, but i have been so emotional lately. Just anything gets to me. Happy stories even make me cry. I mean don't get me wrong i cry a lot that is who i am, but i think it's worse. I am also so tired so i think that doesn't help. Two weeks ago would have been the baby we lost due date and that has been painful, but we feel so grateful that things are going well with this pregnancy and baby. I just really miss my family. We face time multiple times a day because I just have to and it helps because my sweet sawyer asks everyday to go to his sunshine and bampa's house. How do you explain to a two year old that we can't just get in the car and head over to their house? It will be really good when my mom comes in may!!!! We are just counting down until then. So, sometimes when Braydon leaves after dinner to go study if you catch sawyer just right he will just say bye daddy love you come back soon and that's that, but lately he has just freaked. He runs to the door tries to open it and when he figures out it's locked he lays there and sobs and sobs and says daddy come back come back. It really breaks my heart. Lately I haven't been able to keep the tears in. I just hate seeing him so sad. It's so hard on braydon leaving him like that, but it's just what has to be for the time being. Lets just say we love Sundays at this house because we get daddy all to ourselves!
So either we never really got over our colds like we thought or we have new ones... ugh seriously? Tonight I have just had an emotional break down. Braydon has been studying like crazy because he has so many tests this week and next so he hasn't been home as much as we would hope. Sawyer has been really needy and asking for his dad more and getting a little violent with me because I can't be his dad and his mom.I don't know where he learned to hit and kick and I don't care it has got to stop. He gets so mad so easily, but then after he always says sorry mom love you so much. So he totally knows he isn't supposed to do that.So he is either the sweetest boy which is 90 % of the time or he is so mad. Hopefully it's a phase that won't last to much longer! Tonight I was putting him in his bed after he fell asleep watching a movie and he woke up because he just couldn't breathe. I felt so bad. Luckily braydon was finally home and he helped me give him some saline and suck out his nose which was completely clogged. Then we gave him some medicine and told him we were done and he just looked at us with BIG tears and said "thank you so much, thank you so much" Oh it just breaks your heart after you torture him and he just keeps thanking you. We really want to get over being sick. It just isn't fun at all. On to a happier subject. Ben is doing so well in Colombia! I am so proud of him. He is the assistant now and he is working so hard and i know he is so exhausted, but he just loves his mission. He has always been so sweet and sensitive. I am truly proud of him and the skills he has learned. He is just all grown up now. When did that happen? My sister em had surgery on her hand she had a tumor in her finger and the reason they figured it out was because she broke it. Crazy! anyway she is healing and poor sawyer is always asking about her ouchy and is so concerned about her. it's pretty cute how much he cares about her and everyone for that matter. Sawyer has also transitioned so well without the binky better then i ever could have expected! so we are thrilled about that. We are now onto going on the potty he is now mostly interested in telling us he needs to go potty and not actually going. He just sits on there and then gets off and shouts yay and said i'm proud of ya! He always tries to get candy too, but he knows only if he goes does he get the candy:)