Dear my sweet Benson

Dear Benson,

    I have always wanted to be a mother. There was nothing else I was more sure about other then marrying your dad. I always wanted 10 kids... so we always knew we needed a little boy just like you. You are honestly the sweetest little boy with the kindest spirit. You laugh and smile all the time, which makes us smile and laugh all the time. Half the time you are independent and the other half you are right by my side asking me to hold you. I love the way you say my name. I love the way you look at me... like i am perfect and you love me despite my imperfections. You are so smart. You may not talk as much as your older brother, but you take everything in. I love that the things you love you love deeply. I love that you admire your brother. He is a good one to admire. I love that you always want to pray. You want to pray at breakfast, the park, in the car, at church, anywhere and everywhere. You are smart, funny, adorable, stubborn, fast,  and so sweet. I love that you will snuggle me one minute and the next minute give me a run for my money. You have learned to really love the word NO and GO. And you have no problem using them. I love that you know when you are in trouble and you try to get away with anything and everything by kissing me or saying love you. And it usually works. I love that you love family. You always ask to call someone. We always go through the whole family until someone answers. You want to call them a lot of times in one day. I love that you help me with the dishes, picking up garbage or toys. I love that you love to run but i don't love when you love to run from me. I love the way you go down slides. you will start on your bum and then flip your body around so you are on your tummy with your feet first. Even though it gives me major anxiety i love that you are brave. You climb up on anything and everything and you will just leap to me or dad from anything and you will just go jump into the pool. I love that you and your brother hold hands. I am secretly jealous you hold hands more then you hold hands with me. I love that you miss sawyer when he is at school and you ask for him the whole time he is gone. You are just such a happy smart boy. You make us so happy. I am so thankful you have added something so special to our family. I want youth know how special you are to me and how much I love you. You are loved more then I could ever say and the words I say aren't enough to even express how much you mean to me and how important you are to our family. I love you my sweet boy!
MOM

About benson:

Benson 

He still loves doggie so much. Today after I washed him for the 100th time (he's kind of falling apart from so many washes) he held him like a baby and sat with him on the floor and cradled his head and rubbed his tummy and kisses his face and sang to him. It was adorable

He loves buzz and woody but buzz is his favorite of the two. He loves to say buzz and make flying noises 

He tries to sing "let it go" from frozen and he will lift his hands and in the sweetest little voice says "let go" and then he laughs and laughs

Benson was caught opening all my tampons(new) and then pretending they were trumpets! 

Benson loves his back tickled. He will hold so still and say ohhhhh 

Benson loves the hulk. He always is yelling hulk smash. But lately he has been taking off his shirt and turning into the hulk and acting crazy

Benson loves praying and he will beg to say prayers all day and so he always asks sawyer and they just pray what seems like all day. It's pretty cute, but what I loved this morning was after I hurried and made breakfast was before benson ate benson folded his arms and said prayer prayer... It's bad when your not even two year old has to remind you. 

Benson loves to help me put on my make up and he will alway say cute after he also always looks at my ears to see if I'm wearing earrings if I'm not he will put his hands out like where are they and said "where pretties" that is what his little girlfriend Kate calls jewelry so now he calls it that 

When you tell benson something he will like for example if I tell him on of his friends are coming over or we are going to the park he will give a big gasp in excitement and hold his mouth wife open. 

When you tell him something he won't like for example it's time to go to bed he will take his finger point it fast at you and yell noooo

When benson drops something he will say uh oh dodoh which is uh oh spaghetti oh  

Dear my sweet sawyer

Dear Sawyer

     When Heavenly father decided to bless us with kids, he knew we needed you.  I always dreamt about you. What you would look like, how you would act, what kind of boy you would be and would i be the mother you deserved. When i finally saw you for the first time I knew it was a perfect fit and that you would be my greatest joy and blessing. You are all boy! You are wise beyond your years. You are funny, crazy, smart, busy, hard headed, and just a complete joy to our world.  You fill my day with chatter and questions that i never knew a four year old boy could or would ask. You have the craziest imagination and I love watching your mind work. I never knew this kind of love. I would give up anything and everything to see that bright amazing smile. I love watching you sleep peacefully even if it's for shorts amount of time. I love watching you sing in the back of the car. I love that you taught yourself how to pump on a swing. I love that you tell me everything. I love that you want to know about Jesus. I love that you miss me when you aren't with me. I love that you need me. I love that even though you are all boy you love princess and babies. I love how sweet you are to little babies and how kind you are to little kids. I love that you make sure I kiss you everyday and hug you every time we part ways. I love that you remind me to say prayers at night. I love that you make everyone feel special. You always remember everyones names. You NEVER forget anything. So you are really good at reminding me that I said you could have a cookie when we got home from the park.  I love how amazing you are at being a big brother. your brother looks up to you so much. You for the most part are so kind and have so much patience. You can't wait for him to wake up from his nap. And you love to be the one to go get him. You love to teach him things and show him all the important things like how to be a super hero. And you help him and allow him to train with you. I love that when you are sad you want your brother to hug you. I love that you will hug him and kiss him when he is sad. I love that you want to share your time toys and experiences with your brother. I love that you want to be like your daddy.  You want to ride bikes with him and benson, you want to sit by him, eat with him, and be a dentist like him. I love that he is your buddy and your dad. I secretly love though that you want me when you are sad our hurt over your dad, but shhh don't tell him. You are such a wonderful son! you are just a wonderful and amazing person. I am sure it was very hard for Heavenly Father to let you come to earth, but i am so happy he trusted daddy and I to have you. I am so grateful that you are the person that made me a mother. I just want you to know even if you forget anything else. I love you. You are so very loved. That will never change and it will only grow with every passing day! You are such a light in our life and I couldn't imagine life without you! I love you my sweet boy!
MOM



About sawyer:

Sawyer

I asked him if he could help benson clean up their mess and he said "you can always count on me!"

We just signed him up for soccer. He is so excited. He told sunshine to come to his game so when he scored a goal she could "cheer him up" 

"Mom we are a family so that means we love each other and we have to be so nice to each other" 

"Mom you never have to worry when you are with me because I'm your protector forever and if I'm not around you can just pray for Jesus"

We were talking today and sawyer said "mom benson makes me laugh everyday. He is adorable and I really love him. I'm so glad he is my best brother friend" 

We are a big kiss your boo boos and ouchies kind of family. Well sawyer thought it would be a really smart idea to try and surf on the little four wheeler that we have and he fell super hard and Landed on his boy parts. Well lately when he gets hurt he runs to benson and gets benson to kiss his owies and hug him. Well this time he ran to benson and said benson I fell on my penis. Can you kiss it better. You need to kiss right here better. I was laughing so hard I was crying

I am dying... Sawyer had his hands down his pants and I told him to take his hands out. He said he was just fixing his penis because when it bothers him his penis calls to him and tells him to move it! 

We were driving in the car and sawyer kept talking to me about Jesus. He said mom Jesus helped make ye earth and he has a brother who is not a very nice brother not like benson and he has made really bad choices and he tries to whisper in my ear and heart to do bad things but the Holy Ghost helps me to know when I'm making bad choices and good choices. And I can always pray to Heavenly Father and Jesus and the Holy Ghost will make my heart feel warm and happy. And because Jesus died for me and rised with living breath I can live with my family forever and we will never have to be apart or leave anyone behind And when I have a family and kids I can teach them what you and dad teach me. So they can know about Jesus and feel warm in their hearts too. 

Sawyer has had to take naps in my bed because they are working on the window in his room. I have to lay with him until he falls asleep of else he will wake benson up or won't go to bed. So today I was laying with him and he begged to have me snuggle him... How could I say no? We all have coughs thanks to the insane allergies from the Ohio valley and river. He was coughing and he turned his head into his pillow and coughed into his pillow and the grabbed my face whispered in my ear. I did that so I didn't wake my bens. He is so thoughtful! 

Sawyer and I we're snuggling while benson napped... One of my all time favorite things to do. He looked up at me with the sweetest smile and just said simple and matter of fact " you make me happy" I started to cry of course. He makes me so happy too.

So our kids barely napped and we were go go go and they even went swimming so we thought they would sleep! ha ha ha that is hilarious. our night WAS TERRIBLE!!! Sawyer wouldn't go to bed and that kept benson up. finally benson fell asleep but sawyer was still thinking it was play time. He finally fell asleep and then benson woke up. Braydon and I looked at the clock and it was only 11!! we were both like kill us now. Benson laid with me and was rubbing my face and kissing me which means he knows he shouldn't be up and is trying to be all innocent and cute with me. So i gave him to braydon... and he kept doing the same thing to him. and we seriously only got like an hour of sleep! The morning came at 4:00 and the boys were up and ready to go! Even though the night was terrible the boys were so fun in the morning and i just love watching them together. They may fight sometimes and push and hit each other but for the majority of the time they are best friends and i love that.

The boys had a blast swimming... they always do. then they love having a warm shower after!