Dear my sweet sawyer

Dear Sawyer

     When Heavenly father decided to bless us with kids, he knew we needed you.  I always dreamt about you. What you would look like, how you would act, what kind of boy you would be and would i be the mother you deserved. When i finally saw you for the first time I knew it was a perfect fit and that you would be my greatest joy and blessing. You are all boy! You are wise beyond your years. You are funny, crazy, smart, busy, hard headed, and just a complete joy to our world.  You fill my day with chatter and questions that i never knew a four year old boy could or would ask. You have the craziest imagination and I love watching your mind work. I never knew this kind of love. I would give up anything and everything to see that bright amazing smile. I love watching you sleep peacefully even if it's for shorts amount of time. I love watching you sing in the back of the car. I love that you taught yourself how to pump on a swing. I love that you tell me everything. I love that you want to know about Jesus. I love that you miss me when you aren't with me. I love that you need me. I love that even though you are all boy you love princess and babies. I love how sweet you are to little babies and how kind you are to little kids. I love that you make sure I kiss you everyday and hug you every time we part ways. I love that you remind me to say prayers at night. I love that you make everyone feel special. You always remember everyones names. You NEVER forget anything. So you are really good at reminding me that I said you could have a cookie when we got home from the park.  I love how amazing you are at being a big brother. your brother looks up to you so much. You for the most part are so kind and have so much patience. You can't wait for him to wake up from his nap. And you love to be the one to go get him. You love to teach him things and show him all the important things like how to be a super hero. And you help him and allow him to train with you. I love that when you are sad you want your brother to hug you. I love that you will hug him and kiss him when he is sad. I love that you want to share your time toys and experiences with your brother. I love that you want to be like your daddy.  You want to ride bikes with him and benson, you want to sit by him, eat with him, and be a dentist like him. I love that he is your buddy and your dad. I secretly love though that you want me when you are sad our hurt over your dad, but shhh don't tell him. You are such a wonderful son! you are just a wonderful and amazing person. I am sure it was very hard for Heavenly Father to let you come to earth, but i am so happy he trusted daddy and I to have you. I am so grateful that you are the person that made me a mother. I just want you to know even if you forget anything else. I love you. You are so very loved. That will never change and it will only grow with every passing day! You are such a light in our life and I couldn't imagine life without you! I love you my sweet boy!
MOM



About sawyer:

Sawyer

I asked him if he could help benson clean up their mess and he said "you can always count on me!"

We just signed him up for soccer. He is so excited. He told sunshine to come to his game so when he scored a goal she could "cheer him up" 

"Mom we are a family so that means we love each other and we have to be so nice to each other" 

"Mom you never have to worry when you are with me because I'm your protector forever and if I'm not around you can just pray for Jesus"

We were talking today and sawyer said "mom benson makes me laugh everyday. He is adorable and I really love him. I'm so glad he is my best brother friend" 

We are a big kiss your boo boos and ouchies kind of family. Well sawyer thought it would be a really smart idea to try and surf on the little four wheeler that we have and he fell super hard and Landed on his boy parts. Well lately when he gets hurt he runs to benson and gets benson to kiss his owies and hug him. Well this time he ran to benson and said benson I fell on my penis. Can you kiss it better. You need to kiss right here better. I was laughing so hard I was crying

I am dying... Sawyer had his hands down his pants and I told him to take his hands out. He said he was just fixing his penis because when it bothers him his penis calls to him and tells him to move it! 

We were driving in the car and sawyer kept talking to me about Jesus. He said mom Jesus helped make ye earth and he has a brother who is not a very nice brother not like benson and he has made really bad choices and he tries to whisper in my ear and heart to do bad things but the Holy Ghost helps me to know when I'm making bad choices and good choices. And I can always pray to Heavenly Father and Jesus and the Holy Ghost will make my heart feel warm and happy. And because Jesus died for me and rised with living breath I can live with my family forever and we will never have to be apart or leave anyone behind And when I have a family and kids I can teach them what you and dad teach me. So they can know about Jesus and feel warm in their hearts too. 

Sawyer has had to take naps in my bed because they are working on the window in his room. I have to lay with him until he falls asleep of else he will wake benson up or won't go to bed. So today I was laying with him and he begged to have me snuggle him... How could I say no? We all have coughs thanks to the insane allergies from the Ohio valley and river. He was coughing and he turned his head into his pillow and coughed into his pillow and the grabbed my face whispered in my ear. I did that so I didn't wake my bens. He is so thoughtful! 

Sawyer and I we're snuggling while benson napped... One of my all time favorite things to do. He looked up at me with the sweetest smile and just said simple and matter of fact " you make me happy" I started to cry of course. He makes me so happy too.