So my parents were supposed to leave for china last friday, but the plans were delayed when this sweet little angel fell during her play practice and hit her head. She was at home with a hurt head and telling her mom she didn't feel well. Her eyes then rolled back into her head and Melinda rushed her to the hospital. She wasn't stable. They tubed her and then ran a cat scan. It showed a skull fracture. Her sweet grandfather gave her a blessing and she was life flighted to primary childrens. When she got there and they took another cat scan it showed NO skull fracture. What an incredible miracle. If that doens't help you with your faith and belief that God cares and watches over us I don't know what will help you. I saw her when she wasn't awake and she was still tubed. It made me so devestated that this little innocent, sweet child was going through something so scary. It brought me back to a very tramatic event of when my baby sarah was at primary childrens fighting for her life. So it was very difficult for me to be there. Laila is like my family. She is just a part of my life. When she was about 2 1/2 she asked me if we could be sisters and of course i said yes and we've been sisters every since. I am so grateful for the tender mercies of the Savior and for his watchful eyes and that his hands are in all things. Sometimes there are sad and bad outcomes, but sometimes there are powerful great outcomes. We are so lucky to know what we know.

So it is october and that means breast cancer awarness month. My family found out that my grandma is currently fighting her 3rd battle with breast cancer and cancer that is pretty much all over in her body. She is really an amazing women. She is an example to me because she doesn't complain and she still is happy and puts everyone in a great mood. I won't be able to do the breast cancer walk with her this saturday, but i will be there in spirit. She is a true hero of bravery and grace. I hope one day i can amount to such a high standard of excellence. I love you grandma!!

Two years went by... and he came home. And we were still in love and we decided to get married... everyone thought we were crazy, but we didn't care. These pictures are just a few from our memories from 2001 to 2007... in the card braydon gave me yesterday he said after all these years dating and the year we've been married "your hand is the only one for mine" i think that sums it up. I love you braydon. You are my best friend and partner and I wouldn't give up my life with you for anything. I know we have been through hard times, sad times, good times, exciting time, interesting times, but i wouldn't want to have done any of it with out you. Happy anniversary babe!!

This is the night I said goodbye to braydon. It makes me want to throw up just thinking about it. Look we weren't allowed to touch because he was set a part.. lame. When braydon walked me to my car (he will kill me for saying this) we couldn't even say one word he opened my door and whispered i love you and tears were rolling down his cheeks I clearly was the one keeping it together... just kidding. I couldn't even talk i was crying so hard.

This is the night braydon recieved his mission call... You can't tell in this picture, but i bawled my eyes out. Even though i knew he needed to do this I was still devastated to let him go. When braydon and i started dating he didn't want to go on a mission and i told him I wouldn't marry him if he didn't... funny how things work out. We dated, He served a mission, we got married... sounds simple doesn't it... it doesn't quite work that way. It was really hard having him gone, but i got to learn how to grow up and I did my own thing. I just couldn't stop loving him for the two years we were apart and i will continue to love him forever.

My family loves lake powell... I mean we are a little obsessed with going there. It is so much fun. One year braydon was able to come with us which made the trip that much better. You can't see how mad he is in this picture, but i made him let me wash his hair. He was so mad and wanted to do it himself... guys they aren't capable of recieving help.

Braydon's favorite things to do are go fast ride something with a motor and BE WITH ME!! ha ha he wouldn't say that. I learned the very first time i got on a four wheeler with braydon that the more you scream or the louder you scream the faster he goes and the higher he jumps. This has become a big part of my life because he loves it so much. Yes i am married to a child i know, but so is my mom so it all works out.

Braydon and I met when I was in 8th grade. I went to mueller park and he went to milcreek. I was playing a basketball game and was introduced to him. My friends dated his friends and then we just all hung out. Braydon and I started dating in 2001. I told him he had to call me on my birthday and he did and it's been us falling in love since then. Braydon and I have been through a lot and we've helped eachother out in very dark times. When bubba was in his accident braydon was at my side the entire time. He was there as early as six and stayed until one or two. He just went home to shower and rest a little. One of the last times I saw bubba was when braydon and his brother tyler went into his room with me. We were only supposed to go in pairs strict rules were broken just to allow people to say their goodbyes. I watched my brother in his bed while braydon held my hand. What 16 year old boy stays with a girl while crying and believe me i was not well... i did not deal with his death with any class or grace. I owe braydon my life. He brought me back up and helped me learn how to walk again. Thank you so much braydon for sticking by me when i felt like i had no one.

Thanks danielle for being my frist tag!!

I am: really stressed
I think: all the time and nothing good comes out of it
I know: it will all work out eventually... but i hate waiting
I want: to feel safe
I have: a great husband, family and the best friends
I dislike: when you try and get to know someone and they don't try to get to know you back
I miss: bubba and sarah a lot
I fear: losing someone else
I feel: sad a lot and sometimes i don't have a reason
I hear: music on my i pod
I smell: my candle
I crave: nothing at the moment
I cry: a lot i'm a girl and some people would say i cry to much
I search: for a better tomorrow
I wonder: what if my friends miss me and if they are ok and how i can be a better friend and wife
I regret: not being a better person
I wish: i didn't worry
I love: my family and friends and my husband
I care: a lot more then people think...
I always: want my way
I worry: a lot it's a very bad habit to get into
I am not: crazy well at least i hope not
I remember: when life was easy, but i don't think i'd want to go back to that life
I believe: time heals what reason cannot
I sing: all the time and not good i might add
I don’t always: give in
I argue: a lot, but i'm working on it i promise
I write: letters to braydon once a week
I win: half the battles
I lose: half the battles
I listen: to my i pod and dance to it... mostly when i'm alone until braydon walks in... embarassing!!
I don’t understand: why bad things happen to good people
I can usually be found: working or at my moms... with brayd when he's not working
I need: to work harder at being nicer and less stressed
I forget: that it will be okay eventually just be patient
I am happy: when i'm with people i love and people who make me feel good

So Braydon and I are finally all moved into our new house in kaysville... well the house itself isn't new, but to us it's new. We put brand new carpet in and painted the whole thing which it needed. We lived with my grandparents for four months and this picture is of their back yard. And I wanted to take this opportunity to publically thank them for helping us so much and allowing us to live with them. It was such a tender mercy for braydon and I. We are poor and were spending 900$$ a month in rent for a small one bedroom apartment in draper... we feel so lucky to be out of that contract and we feel so lucky to have family who support and care about us. What is the point of life if you don't have family. My grandparents are so sweet and it has helped us to much to have lived with them and to have this new place to live in. Thank you g-ma and g-pa I love you so much!!

Paul and are twins and i hope whoever (if anyone) reads this blog knows that. We turn 22 this month... big step i know. For the last two years paul has been on a mission in mexico and to my surprise birthdays are no fun without him... So this year now that he is home we celebrated our first birthday... Paul had surgery on his ankle so we weren't really able to do anything, but it what we go to do was really fun. On monday the day before our birthday i took him to the dark knight. It was fun to just spend some time together doing twin stuff. He was really high maintenance always telling me where to take him when to stop how fast to go... he is crazy. Then tuesday we spent the day shopping and then we went to dinner with my family. He got me a gift card to target and i fixed and updated his x-box wow we go big don't we? I just want to paul to know if he ever happens to read this which i doubt he will that i love him!! He has been my best friend my whole life. I honestly can't picture going through life without him. He's funny, smart, handsome and such a sweet person. He deserves the best in life. Happy birthday to me and to paul... Life is always a little better with you in it!

July is almsot over! Every year we go to the parade. We sit in the same place every year too. It's so fun because for the last two years i've missed it. It was good to be with everyone. My cute grandma loves it when we are all there. Then we go to her house for the mueller park fireworks! They were so fun this year 1. because braydon was home and i didn't have to watch them alone. 2. The fireworks seem to get better and better. We love our family!!

Braydon and I got a engaged a year ago yesterday... it has really been so fun this first year we have been married ten months and it has flown by!! I love you Brayd!! Thanks for such a fun day.

Yesterday was Bubbas birthday. It's always a mixed emotions day. I am happy because we are celebrating his life when he was here, but sad at the same time because I would love to watch him blow out his candles and give him his birthday hug and I can't do those things that I think some of us take for granted. I sat there thinking of all the things I wanted to tell him because i don't really like going to the grave site so I choose not to go often. I sat down and told him I got married and I was so sad he didn't get to see me in my dress or dance with me like I did with all my brothers. I told him I was upset that he left us because who wants to sit on the grass and cry and mess their face up. I told him that he would be amazed at how big ben is and how grown up emilee is and that she is graduated and that paul everyday wishes his best friend were still around. I told him that mom still looks up when she hears a car thump into our driveway because for a split second she forgot you were gone. I told him that dad still blames stuff on him because it's easier to get mad at him because then no one talks back and he likes that, but at the same time his first born he would rather have him talk back then not be here. I told him for the first time i was mad at him for leaving because sometimes the pain gets so bad that you wants to break something, but at the same time all i wanted to do was hug him and tell him I miss you more then you will ever know. I believe god gives us magical moments to makes us believe and make us strong for the hard and painful times. When i got married he gave me a magical monent. In the temple the other side is so close. I felt that hug and i felt my littel baby girl (sarah) it was almost like she was tugging on my dress to pick her up. As hard as the pain is I hope for those magical moments and the moments where i get to "talk to myself" but feel like i'm talking to them. So happy birthay bub. We miss you a lot!