Changing everyday!

Braydon blessed Sawyer last sunday and it was a beautiful day! He did such a great job it was very sweet to listen to. Thank you for all the support from family and friends who made such an effort to come and share in this special day. I am so grateful for a worthy husband who was able to give such a powerful yet sweet blessing to our son.







Sawyer and Kellen. He was so cute to him. He kept kissing him and saying "one day you will be big like me and then we can play" So sweet


My almost always happy baby

He loves his new jumper! He can even spin some of the toys on top. It's so fun to watch him try so hard


This is the 1% unhappy baby that I have. He was very sad his bottle was empty and he was spitting up!






Braydon's mom made us all these pj's. Braydon was so glad i made him take a family picture in them!
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He makes funny faces that make me laugh!

Big stretch






Sawyer is 3 months old!! I can't believe how fast time goes. He is getting so big. He is such a fun baby! I love spending all day with him. It's so hard being at work monday and tuesday because i just want to be with him. He is such a funny boy. He laughs and smiles all day long! He has finally started playing with toys. He has a stuffed animal duck that he just loves to hold and he always smiles at it. Last night I put him into bed and he woudln't fall asleep. I handed him his little yellow duck he smiled at it and then he hugged it tight and feel asleep. It was so sweet. He is very into the tv if he is watching something and it doesn't matter what and someone tries to talk to him or move him... he gets very mad and lets you know that it isn't ok.


Braydon bought me a jogging stroller this last weekend and we took it out for the first time to the gateway mall and Sawyer loved it! He no longer like to be in the car seat put in the stroller/ the travel system because he can't look out. I think i'll be pretty happy with the new stroller!

Easter was fun this year... even though sawyer couldn't really do the fun easter egg hunt and all that we still did all the easter things egg hunt basket, and an easter outfit, but instead of a church outfit i decided to get him this really cut onsie that says my mom thinks i'm a chick magnet... i know you can't see it that well but he looked pretty stinkin cute in it!

we got sawyer this little vest and tie... he looks like grandpa in it!


Well, we were getting really excited for the warm weather and then the snow hit!! LAME. I was looking forward to take sawyer out and go on walks, but I guess we will have to wait a little longer. He is growing up so fast. He is starting to make a lot more sounds and laugh a lot more. He is so funny. We have taken him to two movies at gateway and he has been so good for both as long as he is standing on my legs able to see the big screen. He will oooo and ahhh at the screen and if I try and move him he will fuss. It's so funny. He likes to look out and see the world. It's so funny if you try and hold him like a baby and you aren't feeding him he will cry as soon as you face him out or stand him up he will start laughing and smiling. He is going to be a busy boy i just know it. He has got such a fun personality I can't wait for him to start talking. We have great new well, for me it is great news. We are doing on a cruise to hawaii the first part of august and i'm sooooo excited. He will be 8 months old and I think it will be so fun to take him. I'm sure the flights won't be that great, but I've bought him all sorts of summer swim wear and summer clothes. I can't wait. It is a much needed vacation and I'm only bummed it isn't til August.





Sawyer is really starting to love bath time which makes life so much easier for me. We have started to listen to disney music during his bath and He loves it. He will kick, splash, laugh and sometimes try to sing along. It's so sweet! He scared himself last night by hitting the water to hard with his fist and he got water in his face. Other then that we really love bath time and singing to all our favorite disney songs. Right now his favorite is beauty and the beast which I think is funny.






My mom bough Sawyer a bunch of utah clothes and some of them are finally starting to fit. As my brother paul would say we are "raising him right" He looks so cute in red which works out perfect because we aren't Y fans at all! GO UTES! He really loves my mom and dad so much. Sometimes he is pretty stubborn when my dad is trying to talk to him and he will look everywhere, but at my dad it's pretty funny.

* side note* this is such a sweet picture of when he is sleeping isn't it nice!!!



Last night my sweet boy decided to sleep for 10 minutes get up for two hours sleep for 40 minutes wake up for an hour and then sleep until 5 am. Then he didn't want to take a nap until 2:15. It's funny because i'm not unhappy I love this little boy and he is so happy and smiley all the time. I just love him even when I don't sleep. And today this sweet boy decided to hold his own bottle for 1 minute. I thought it was pretty exciting. He is making new sounds which is so fun and he always want to be standing up on my lap. He loves the tv and if i try to make him look at something else or even me his mother he gets mad at me. He is so funny! I love Sawyer so much.

2 month check up!

So we went to the Dr. Yesterday. I have been dreading it for days now. Although, it was braydon's spring break he was up at school all week and was unable to come with me... thanks a lot! So I had to go alone. Well, we got there and did all the weighing and measuring first. He is 55% for both weight and length and 57% for his head. So he is growing up nicely and quickly. Now for the shots. They brought in two nurses so that we could give them at the same time. I had to hold his little arms and upper body so he would wiggle. They gave them and he was fine until they started injecting. Then the tears and I mean a lot of tears. He cries sometimes, but hardly ever with real tears. We call it the fake cry, but this was real and it was the first time i heard this cry. I was heart broken as soon as everyone left I started to cry. It made me feel so bad, but Dr. kasteler made me feel better and i know that its better to just give them and have him cry for a bit then to not and have him get really sick. It was still hard though. He tried to smile at me when i put him in his car seat, but then he would start to cry again. And once we got in the car he stopped crying really hard and just sniffed the whole way home. I drove around for a awhile so he would fall asleep. Thank heavens that worked. He was really sick last week and now he is sooo much better and completely over it. So braydon and I took him to the movie yesterday. We went to the bounty hunter. He did great. He just wanted to watch the big bright screen. He stood on my legs almost the whole time. Towards the end he got a bit fussy and we went down and i just held him and he fell right to sleep. He is such a good baby. I am so lucky because I HATE when he cries. He isn't the best sleeper, but better then most he get up about 3 times a night and it's very hard to get him to go back to sleep. He is such a happy boy pretty much all the time. He tries to sit up now and if he is on a pillow he will throw himself up and fall off the pillow. It's very funny. He gets very frustrated that he can't sit up or talk because he tries so hard to do so. i'm just so thankful that he is over his cold and that he is healthy and happy. I am thankful for the advice of my best friends and family. They help me so much to want to be a better mom and to try out new and different things that always seem to help. You know who you are and i'm grateful that you are such amazing people and parents to help me. I am lucky to have such a great support system. My mom has been so great! She ALWAYS helps me. And sawyer loves her which makes me so happy. I am thankful that braydon works so hard in school so one day he can have a great job and so we won't have to worry as much. I'm just thankful for my life has crazy as it may be sometimes!

I found this while I was shopping the other day. It's such a good idea. it's a binky that closes when dropped so that the nipple part doesn't get dirty. It's so nice since they get dropped all the time and sometimes i can't find my binky clip. I dont' use it everyday, but when we are around the hosue and i can't find his binky clip i use it and it works like a charm because it gets dropped A LOT! I am kinda nervous because we are getting Sawyers two months shots this friday! I am so scared and I makes me feel so sad for him. He is getting so big it's so sad and fun too. He has started to laugh a lot. He tries to sing along with me now and he thinks that lights and the tv are very cool. he cries when he gets put down because he doesn't get put down very often. He is very spoiled and loved!! He Is the joy of our lives. We are so lucky. We say all the time how did we live without this sweet boy for so long?? Braydon and I couldn't be happier and are so excited for it to get warm so we can go swimming and go outside and do all sorts of fun stuff!

Sawyer is getting so big. I am so sad and so excited at the same time. He is starting to get a little personality which is so fun. Here are some of the things he does and what are days are like. I'm sure it's not as exciting as all of yours, but it's fun for us.
He smiles all the time
He laughs, but not all the time and it's usually at night
He tries so hard to talk back to you
He sings when I sing to him I love that it's so sweet
He tries to sit up, but he just can't do it and he gets so frustrated
He loves bath time finally!
He thinks two in the morning is play time instead of bed time and he just wants to smile
He loves my parents they can just look at him and he gets the biggest smile on his face
He will always fall asleep for braydon at night but not for me.
We are usually up around 4 am for the day because it's not fun to sleep
We don't really go out anywhere because of rsv it's so bad right now
We watch a lot of movies together and a lot of trashy reality tv... sorry mom
He is happy most of the time, but if he's hungry and i'm not fast enough at getting him food he gets very upset and will start to scream. Once he starts eating he is fine!
He loves braydon so much. It's so sweet to watch them together he loves to help his daddy study and loves when daddy can make it home in time for bath time
He has a hard time walking up he gets a little confused and gets scared very easily
He makes us so happy and has changed our lives so much. I can't believe he hasn't been in our lives longer. He just makes my heart melt. Even when he is sleeping at night I just stare at him because i can't take my eyes off him.

Random thoughts

So I have been thinking a lot lately about this sad story i'm about to share. A family my mom knows down south had a very sad thing happen in their family. Their son committed suicide. That in itself is a tragedy, but what the mother found after his death makes this very hearbreaking. She found e-mails, notes, and text messages from people in his school (he was a sr. going to graduate this year) She said what these kids said to her son were some of the most awful things any person could say or any person could hear. She said it was very painful to even read. My brother ben is a sr. and i can't imagine people saying such awful things to hurt him in that way. Why are people so cruel? I know kids are so mean to eachother. The mother went to her sons grave sight and there was a note from a girl that said she didn't attend his funeral because she didn't want to be a hipacrite and pretend she was nice to him like everyone else who attended to try and make themselves feel better. What is wrong with people? I am so sad for this mother. I am so sad for those kids who did and said such awful things to this boy that i've never met. I am just sick about it. It's hard to explain how our life changed after my brother and sister died. It's hard to explian how my mom and dad changed, but now that i'm a mom I feel like i understand a little bit more of what that did to them even though i don't really know. It breaks my heart that this mother had to say goodbye to her son to early and that it was a very sad way for her to let him go. It's just good that we have the gospel. Then on the other end of the spectrum I was watching "hope for haiti" and there was this story about a mother who pulled herself out of the rubble and could hear her infant son crying. She dug and dug for hours and hours and could still hear him, but his cries were getting weaker and weaker. A day went by and she was still digging. This mother dug for her baby for 50 hours and finally help came and her son was pulled out alive. What a beautiful story. I couldn't help but cry as I was holding my son. If you asked me a year ago if i'd dig 50 hours i don't know what i'd say but after having this beautiful baby I would dig until the very end. I want to be like thatmom and not like those unkind people. I want to be better then that. I will continue to feel sad for that family because I know death is so painful and I will try and be like that mom and fight for life and be more loving.

Sawyer is almost three weeks. I can't believe it. It has gone by so fast and we have just begun. We had his two week check up this week and he is now 8 lbs 2 ounces. He is in the 33 percentile for his weight and 65 percentile for his height. Things are going very well. During the day he is so happy and he sleeps very well. At night he is a little confused and is up pretty much most of the night. He spits up a lot at night and chokes a lot which is really scary, but during the day he hardly spits up. So when he is asleep at night i'm still awake in fear that he is going to choke. On a happier note he has started smiling so much. It is so sweet. He smiles a lot more when he is waking up, but he does smile when he is awake. He thinks he can sit up on his own and he tries so hard and gets so frustrated when he can't do it. He has discovered his hands and feet He hates to be bundled up because he can't wiggle. He has made our lives so rich and I'm so lucky to have this little boy. My friends who have children always spoke of how great it was and i knew it would be, but i never knew it would be this amazing, hard and simply the best gift i could have ever gotten. Braydon gave me this beautiful braclet after I gave birth to sawyer it was very sweet and i felt so bad because i didn't get him anything and when i said that to him he said " you gave me the best gift ever... our son" and the sums it up. He is the greatest gift and we are so lucky to be parents. It's so fun to be a mom and it's only been such a short time. I am new and not very good at it... that is why I call my sweet friend danielle everyday pretty much to ask for advice or just to vent or to share how sweet I think my boy is and she is so kind and she listens and gives the best advice she is really supermom. Thanks danielle!!! and i'm sorry i call ALL the time. Being a mom has changed my life and it's no longer about me and sawyer knows it and that's the way braydon and I like it!

Sawyer James Haskell

Welcome to the world my sweet baby boy!

I was 8 days over my due date. It was horrible! I went in for my induction at 7:30 tuesday the 12. I was given a pill that should start my contractions and was told i would probably get 3 or 4 of those before we started pitocin. Well, it worked so well they started the pit after just one pill. Things were going pretty well my contractions were about 4 minutes apart and were lasting 7 minutes each. It was pretty intense and very painful so we didn't get much sleep that night. Well, about 8 in the morning I was told that the stronger my contractions got the lower his heart rate would drop. I was taken off the pitocin to see how my body and the baby would react. his heart rate continued to drop with each contraction. My dr. broke my water about 10:30 to see if that would speed up the process to get this baby out. It didn't and his heart rate dropped in the 60's. I was told i probably would have a c section, but i was a little concerned and frustrated that they were waiting. i was so worried and very stressed. What if he wasn't ok what was wrong why weren't they listening to me? I talked to my nurse and told her i was very worried and super stressed and that's when my dr. walked in and said his heart rate just dropped to 50 and we are taking you now for an emergency c section. Braydon was getting lunch I called him and said they are prepping me for surgery. He rushed right up. I was told I was going into surgery at 1:15 and i was on the table at 1:25. I was numb from the neck down it was a littl hard to breathe and a lot harder to stay awake. I was crying and very nervous. Braydon watched the whole surgery. He said what they did to me was pretty intense and a Little hard to watch, but he thought it was pretty cool. Well I heard the Dr. say I am pulling the baby out.... then i heard the cord is around his neck twice. So what was happening was every time i would contract the cord would pull tight. They rushed him away and I was waiting to hear him cry. then the most beautiful sound happened I heard my little boy cry. next thing I knew i was out and braydon was waking me up holding my son. It was the most magical and spiritual thing seeing my bestfriend and husband holding the perfect thing we created together. I was so overcome with emotion. We both were. It was scary, but very specail not what i had expected, but i am so grateful it worked out for the best. i am so thankful that he is healthy and everything is fine. He is the most precious little person in the world. I can't believe i lived without him. He is very calm and a very good baby. The nights are a littl hard i think his time clock is a little off so he sleeps a lot during the day and is up all night. Welcome to motherhood. He is wanting to hold his head up and he rolled over today... i was like no!!! you are not growing up and you are not rolling over. I am so grateful for braydon throughout this whole thing. He has been so great and so thoughtful. I am so lucky to have such a great husband and a darling son. I don't want him to grow up, but i'm excited for the journey. We are very lucky. My family has been so great with him too. They have been so helpful. My mom and sister take him all the time for me so I can rest because this c section recovery has been a joke! Who knew how much you used your ab muscles? I am feeling a lot better other then going a little crazy just sitting in my house. I love my baby and i'm so glad he is here!!!!!!! FINALLY. it's been a long time coming.

Just a little update

So we don't have a baby yet. I know I know I can't believe it either. I am only 4 days past due, but 4 days seems like a very very long and uncomfortable time to me. I have now started going to the dr. 3 times a week to have a ultrasound and a NST. Everything looks great which I am so happy about, but at the same time I was hoping they would say " You know Erica you seem so miserable why don't we just induce you today." Oh ya that was my dream last night. His heart rate is great it's about 137 to 140 and they like it between 110 and 160. The average amount of amniotic fluid is 10cm and they worry if you have less then 10. Well, folks no need to worry because I have i bit more then 10cm I have 23cm.The nurse kathy was so hilarious and so sweet and she said that sucks you are over due and I really really want to lie and tell them to induce you, but I can't. I tried very hard to pay her off, but she said no. So if my water breaks on it's own or if they have to do it i'm to plan on a large amount. FANTASTIC! I had a slight break down yesterday because I have just planned on having this baby here already, my family was supposed to go to st. george next weekend and they cancelled their plans and I feel horrible about it. I just cried for a bit and then went walking around the mall maybe to help this baby come. All it did was make me even more tired. So if this baby doesn't come this weekend which i am really hoping for then I go back to the dr. on monday. Oh Joy!! So please pray for me I could really use a little help. And I know this is all complaining, but i really want to meet my little guy and i'm excited to start a new adventure that doesn't include me throwing up, lack of sleep for no reason, getting up twenty times a night to pee (TMI) but that includes me getting up for someone who depends on me and to see this beautiful baby/ gift that came from heaven. Lets hope for the best people. Everyone BELIEVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dear santa,

Did your sled break down? Did you forget where I live? I am a little ticked that I did not get the simple request of a baby this year. Well, no baby yet and from the looks of things I will be going over the due date. I think i've just created a such a great place for this baby that he doesn't want to come. I tell him every night that he really wants to meet me, but he just stays put. Hopefully we will not go over the due date, but if we do we will be happy i mean really happy when he comes. It's time to give up this body suit.

Dear Santa,


I know that my due date isn't until January 5Th and I want a healthy baby, but I secretly would love to have a baby here for Christmas. I know that is a lot to ask and it's only for selfish reasons, but there isn't anything else I want. I have everything I need. An incredible husband, the best family and amazing friends. I am just really looking forward to meeting this little baby boy. If you can accommodate my wishes that would be so great.

thank you so much,


Erica